Good afternoon!
I am sitting here inside my wonderful home with the bright, warm sun shining in on me through the window. I am so thankful for the sun and all that it brings. Last night was into the -40's, but it's slowly starting to warm up above zero now.
Do you know the feeling when you feel God working in your heart and you can't really control it or stop it? Not that you'd want to stop it, especially when it's a great thing. I know God has been changing my heart because the feelings and thoughts I have inside are nothing that I could have ever forced myself to experience. I have actually ENJOYED cleaning and organizing and cooking this week. This is a HUGE step for me because I have not embraced any of this until now. Eric and I have had some pretty interesting conversations over the last few weeks, spurred on by the book, "Love and Respect," and our home group from church. Just two weeks ago I was throwing my own version of a fit and stomping my feet because I thought, Is this what my life has come to? All I'm supposed to do is take care of the kids, clean, cook, clean some more, and then clean some more?
My flesh was crying out in tones of laziness like I had never heard before. I would describe myself as a lazy person sometimes, and that is not a good quality to possess. I have relied on my amazing husband to do too much around here, because he just gives and gives and serves his little heart out. People like me have the tendency to let those with servant's hearts take over while we sit back and come up with excuses in our heads why we can't lift a finger. I'm holding the baby; I already did some work today; I just want to relax; You haven't been at home all day dealing with the things I have... and of course the list goes on and on.
Prayer is a powerful thing. I have been praying that God would change my attitude toward being a stay-at-home mom and all the glorious duties that come along with it. Why am I SURPRISED when I suddenly recognize that God has answered my prayer? This week has been nothing less than wonderful and productive. I never knew how much it meant to my husband to come home after work to not have to see the dishes that HE created while cooking a fabulous meal for ME and my daughter at lunch time. What have I been doing the last three years? Sitting around on my lazy butt? Of course, I cooked and cleaned and all that jazz, but I did it while muttering under my breath.
I am so excited to embrace this next phase of my life where I know God has called me to learn how to cook delicious meals, keep the house more organized, and enjoy taking care of and disciplining my children. It has given me so much joy this week to keep things in order and experiment with different meals. I know there is more to life than keeping a clean home, and it's not about being the perfect Stepford wife. What it IS about is honoring my husband's hard work by working just as hard at home. And who knew that the more I put into it the more I would get out of it??
Oh, and my little Charlie continues to melt my heart each day. And as for my "difficult toddler," she has turned a new corner as she self-professes: "But I WANT to be a good girl, Mommy!" Praise the Lord that we are finally starting to see the bud of winning her heart. That phrase used to kind of trip me out, but it actually makes perfect sense.
